16 OCT 2022

hello!
* MY DEAR LUNG! MY DEAR LUNG! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU MY DEAR LUNG! // *wer sagt dir gute nacht? * who is telling you goodnight? * sana kim iyi geceler diyor?// * was noch alles aus einem werden kann=? * what yet all can become someone? * kendinen daha neler olur acaba? // * hey, come on please- when now everything is gonna on the right track-- dont stress yourself // * NICH MAL VANILLE HABEN WIR! * NOT EVEN VANILLA WE DO HAVE! * VANILYA BILE YOK BIZIM! // * ..i can imagine..... i can not imagine.....it is,yes, never so easy.// * sagol size, zahmet olmus* danke dir, es war mühevoll * thanks you, this was effort..// * siz buna nasil göz yumarsiniz?* how you can press an eye on such something? * wie können sie bei sowas ein auge zudrücken?// * if the speaker on your ears just shortly gets out...it listens different, ha?// * incitici olur * this would be violating * das wäre kränkend, verletzend //* welchen ratschlag hast DU für mich? * which advice do YOU have got for me? * SENIN bana hangi ögütün var?// * bir daha düsünüp üzülme * dont think once again and feel worry * denk nicht nochmal und sei traurig //* bazen kalmakta direnmek, inad etmek kör bir kisir mevsim galiba ayni belirsiz noktaya dönmek - hep ayni kabus görmek gibi * manchmal stehenzubleiben, aushalten, stur sein- ist glaube ich eine unfruchtbare jahreszeit -an einen uneindeutigen punkt zurückkehren- ist es wie, immer denselben alptraum zu sehen * sometimes standing still, hold out, be mulish- is i believe an fruitless season coming back to an ambigueous point- is like, seeing always the same nightmare // * ich könnte, ich kann bedenken in den wind schießen
* i could i can reservations shooting in the wind * endiseleri rüzgara havaya ucurabilirim * wenn ich meine augen zu mache- wo bin ich dann? was ist das? * when i do close my eyes- where am i then? what is that? * gözlerimi kapatiyorsam- nerdeyim? ne bu?// * i thank, that at the moment here no one bombs our home-dont must leave, escape all ive got here, my beloved, memories, that my life is not in such danger // * there, where feathers are found, the ground get lights up energies stick it into your plants at home, if you took them not with you home when you find someone stick them like a flower into the ground, earth (we just stick the ends into)so terraland is lighten up -asuman sur- // * eine küchenrolle- oh wie schön sie ist!!!* a kitchen paper roll - oh how beautiful she is!!! * mutfak kâgidi bobin ahhh ohhhh nekadar güzel o!!! ama - but- aber- * kendimizin degerini, kimden ögreniyoruz? baska gözlerini aramakta yada basimiza gelenler mi? * our self worth, from who do we learn this? by searching other eyes or from that what we are living? * unseren selbstwert, von wem lernen wir das? in dem suchen anderer augen oder von dem was wir erleben? // ich konnte vieles lieben, nur nicht mich/ i was able to love much, just not myself /cogu seyi sevebiliyordum ben, ama kendimi degil - selbstwert.selfworth.özdeger.=> i speak about, how i came into it- maybe it serves in any kind for u, 2 ?! about what ive once thought it is love, life shown me facettes of love, how i identify, how i did,how i compared myself with others, how i could see, how beautiful i am- tell about doubts, i do have still, if the path, the floor im in, i currently follow will lead me to my requested beloved destiny- if its just an illusion which will get real, or just a one-way-street-
i maybe lead an unusual life- also without a visible safety net-yes and but i am not coming home at all..(my therapist says, that i just do wrong- i should work in a good job 40 hours/week& get more money & live my creativity in my freetime- i would make me the world how i want.so.. but i know what is best for me,not to be a dysfunctional victim of society when i would do her advice-
a safety net i have found in myself. i trust into me now, into life & this great universe- is working for me &you, also.
trust in intuition. love, s

thank you!